so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
