I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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