Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize