Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
