I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
