Farmville is her only friend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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