So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
