I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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