You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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