I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
