I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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