4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This house was built for laser tag.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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