am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize