when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
