My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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