is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
