Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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