She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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