4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
