the day after is always just damage control
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
