I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
