I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
