I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
