Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
