Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
