We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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