I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
