I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
