Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
