I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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