His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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