i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
