with your own penis?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
