Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
