I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
