Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
