I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
he puts the penis in happiness.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
