I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize