i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
