I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
