You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
