Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
