If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
