i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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