new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
