I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
