when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
