I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
do herpes really smell.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
