forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
