he puts the penis in happiness.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
