Sry I called you an 8
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
