There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
then he tried to convert me to islam
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
