She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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