Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
