I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
