You work out of a Hotel?
i think my mom watched the whole time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
