In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize