you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I don't deserve a penis
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
