What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
