i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
