i was born a porn star she said
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
