Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
