the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
time to smoke my breakfast
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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