Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
