my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
