My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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