I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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